Someone had to say it.
I remember looking down at my grandpas shoes when I was a little girl and thinking to myself “damn, that shit ugly” but you know, they served a purpose. They were functional, not fashionable. He wasn’t trying to impress anyone. He wanted to comfortably get from point A to point B. No disrespect here fathers and grandfathers, mothers and grandmothers, or others that require the extra foot support, you DO what YOU gotta do.
THIS IS DIRECTED AT THE TEENAGERS THRU THE 40SOMETHIN YEAR OLDS.
I’ve decided to make a list of 8 things you can buy instead of Balenciaga grandpa shoes priced at a discomforting $895.00 -
you could rescue, or sponsor the rescue of approximately 20 dogs or 40 cats. Did you ever dream of having an animal sanctuary? Skip the shoes, adopt the dogs.
You could take the day off work and stay home and cuddle your animals. You’d probably be more productive during the rest of the week anyways.
you could buy the worlds largest pizza at Big Mama's and Papa's Pizzeria in Los Angeles and feed 50-70 of your friends. If you don’t have that many friends, there are lots of dogs that would love to snack on that with you. You’d probably become their best friend.
you could go to Disneyland for 8 days straight, and have $15 to spare.
you could buy the shoes, and burn them to keep the dogs living in these freezing cold shelters warm for at least 20 minutes. I assume they probably burn prettier than they look. But then we’d be emitting more unnecessary carbon dioxide into the atmosphere so let’s scratch this one.
you could go on an all inclusive trip to Mexico, and have extra money for spending. Plus, lots of street dogs to pet in Mexico.
you could afford pet food for the next 3+ years, OR get luxury pet food delivered through amazing services like Ollie. That price depends on your animals’ size, but STILL, thats approximately a year of food for your animal(s).
you could liiiterally drink 210 pumpkin spice lattes from starbucks, priced at $4.25 per drank. You can also get your pupperino a Puppuccinos for free while you’re there.
Say it’s too late for you, you already gave into the trend and bought the shoes. Here is my recommendation. Find a senior center in your area and donate those shoes to someone who could really use them. Never look back.
I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE DAY WHEN PEOPLE WAKE UP AND REALIZE THEY PARTICIPATED IN THE 2018-2019 VERSION OF CROCS. YA’LL WACK AS HELL, TAKE THEM OFF.
sincerely (xoxo),
Lex